Before I explained my new style, I thought I needed to write this post. When an artist does work, he/she has many choices to make and many questions to answer. I wanted to take some time to explain why I paint and why I paint what I paint. When I began painting eight years ago, I painted with oils. I love nature, so I began painting pieces of places I had been and places I wanted to document and to remember because of their beauty. It was enjoyable, but it played into my perfectionism and my drive to try to make things look perfect. My style was tight and almost photographic in style, or at least that was what I was shooting for. I thought it was a good thing because I was doing what I loved. I would quickly find out that it didn’t sit well with some people.

People told me I “oughta” loosen up to have a more painterly style. I struggled with that because it wasn’t what I liked or what I loved in the art I had studied and loved in art history or like any work I loved in museums or galleries at the time. I prefer very realistic pieces if they are going to be representational. I didn’t understand the concept of having to do art a certain way. That seemed to take the artistic originality out of the process and work. I didn’t love the thought of changing to meet someone else’s qualifications although I had done similar things my entire life, but I also wanted to listen to the advice so I could receive the approval from others I thought I needed.

Having to struggle with this concept was unusual for me. My whole life, up to that point, had been filled with people telling me what I “oughta” do and then choosing to do it. I’m not saying I never did what I wanted, but I certainly listened and assumed someone must have cared enough about me to give the best advice and the advice that was best suited for me. What I learned as I got older and by being a parent, is that some people tell you what you “oughta” do because it fits better in the box, it meets their criteria and it happens to most often be what they like or what better lines up with their beliefs. In other words, the advice of others is often shared because it is related to what they do, what they like, and it makes them more comfortable or if it helps them get what they want. What I mean is that some advice comes from a somewhat selfish place with no concideration for what advice is best for the person on the receiving end. Since I began painting, people have been saying, “Now, so what you ‘oughta do’ is….” I’ve been told I “oughta” paint larger pieces, florals, horses, umbrellas and rainy scenes, only landscapes, and only pieces that “glorify God”. I’ve been told I “oughta” paint things that make more sense. I’ve been told I “oughta” paint scenes from the towns we have lived in with popular landmarks, so people will buy them. I’ve been told I “oughta” paint exactly what someone tells me to, and then I’ll sell my work. I’ve been told I “oughta” go to a workshop and watch videos of great artists, so I can be better and again, sell my work.

This makes me so sad because I do not paint to sell my work or to be like any other artist. In fact, I have personally chosen to not follow other artists so that my style always stays, my style. As an artist, of course I want to be the best I can be. Of course I would love to sell my work, but the motivation has never been money. That totally takes the joy out of the process if I paint each piece just to make a buck. I want people to buy my art because they feel moved by a piece I paint, because they love the subject if its representational, or if they love the colors, or because it makes them feel a certain way, or because they want to look at it every day, or because it would look great in their favorite room, or just because they want to support me. The reason I paint is because I HAVE to. It is a part of who I am. It brings me joy unspeakable. It relieves stress and helps me process life with all its ups and downs. And, it makes me feel a little child-like in a crazy grownup world surrounded by a whole lot of too busy, too stressed, too anxious angry people who have lost their peace and wonder.

Part of me, the art historian part, feels the need to explain a little bit here to those that do not know a whole lot about art. Many, many artists that paint abstract pieces are actually trained and can paint beautiful landscapes and realistic pieces that make better sense to a wider audience; however they choose not to do so. A choice to paint big large squares of blue and orange or splatters of black and white are most always purposeful choices and are not choices like those made by children because of a lack of skill. Although many people think and believe that to be the case. “My four year old could do that” is a very popular phrase uttered in front of abstract masterpieces in museums all over the world every day. And the thing is that it might be true. A piece might look just like something a child would do; but I can assure you that if it was created by an adult the meanings, thoughts, motivation, inspirations, emotions, stories, and possibly prayers behind those pieces are far more intellectual, more meaningful, and dare I say, more spiritual than what any four year old could possibly do. An abstract piece can also “say” far more than any traditional landscape could ever “say”.

Below, I am attaching five pictures to prove that I, like most artists that paint abstracts, have indeed had a past of painting other things. I am to the point in life where I “gotta” do what I “gotta “do and not what others think I “oughta do”. And for now, I am choosing to paint abstracts because I’ve got a whole lot of things to say and just like Georgia O’ Keefe said, “I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn’t say any other way—things I had no words for.” I hope you stick around to follow my journey, and if you see something I blog about or something you like on the website, please do not hesitate to comment or send me a quick note. Artists, or at least this one, could use a whole lot more encouragement than advice these days.